I wanna hold your hand

Everybody I know is blogging these days. It's all a bit overwhelming, but the biggest impact on me (the only impact that therefore matters) is that most everybody knows my blog now, so if I wanna say something really nasty or offensive or (horrors!) honest about the people I know or some aspect of my relationship therewith, well, I just can't. Unless, of course, I bury it deep in metaphor. Hmmm...

So when I woke up this morning, I saw a giant spider sitting on the corner of my bed at my feet, chewing a swatch of comforter. As I slowly drew my legs back, the mangy beast, no less than a foot in approximate diameter, ceased its wet chomping. I froze in terror, awaiting a poisonous strike. Seeing no movement, I slowly withdrew from my bed in terror, slinking along the wall to the door. Before I could reach the hall, though, the hideous beast sneezed with great force. My poor beleaguered bladder loosed its contents and I began to whimper uncontrollably. The black arachnid stared at me unrelentingly. After a seeming eternity, the monster uttered one word in an eerily childlike voice.

"peekaboo."