Friday, June 09, 2006

Addicted to Shitty Coffee Three Three Three

I've been writing memos for the past week, which means that I've not been working at SLU but rather back at Wash U. As a result, I have been pounding my central nervous system with sweet and sickening vending machine coffee.

Our coffee machine has a wide enough selection of hot beverages. You can get hot cocoa if you'd like, or you can get decaf, or perhaps a flavored coffee like Irish Cream (without any real Irish, of course) or chocolate hazelnut, which I used to drink. After you select a variety, you choose a strength from one to three, choose a sugar option from one to three, and choose a "whitener" option from one to three.

I drink straight up caffeinated three three three, two to three cups a day. The buzz is great, and the slight nastiness of coffee makes it all the more satisfying.

Ten minutes ago, I bought a fresh cup and took it outside to the courtyard. I had to make a call. As I chatted away, I swatted at a fly buzzing about my coffee. I finished my call, and picked up my cup only to find the fly'd fallen in and now floated at the top along with scummy whitener. O villany! Treachery! The potent poison quite o'er-crows my spirit!


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