Oh, arses!

I've been watching the olympics, so I've been drowning in commercials for AT&T. Their commercial's music always ends with a few lines of All Around the World by Oasis. The band recorded the song, an attempt at a Hey Jude-styled anthem, for the notoriously bloated and coke-driven Be Here Now album. Perhaps you remember the Yellow Submarine-ish video?

Be Here Now started off with the song D'You Know What I Mean?, a single in that peculiarly British style of music, messianic guitar pop. The song goes, in part:

I met my maker, I made him cry
And on my shoulder he asked me why
His people won’t fly through the storm,
I said ’listen up man, they don’t even know you’re born’

All my people right here, right now,
D’you know what I mean? yeah yeah

Yeah yeah, indeed. Nice rousing song, kinda makes you want to listen to Two Virgins (nsfw) while huffing paint.

The intersection of coked up hooligan rock and The Lord reached its zenith, I feel, with onelovestory. This epic was written by...well, wait, who wrote it now?

I did not write ONELOVESTORY. The book came through me, transformed me, and now there is no me. I no longer consider myself to be of this world. I am now in Spirit, and Spirit is in me. I am whole....I felt the stunning presence of the Spirit as She fed me answers and insights into the world of The Stone Roses. I knew something incredible was going down, and that was my inspiration for writing the book to begin with-----the mystery of GOD was being revealed to me through the Stone Roses and I became on fire with the desire to tell you all about it.

So this fellow has written a long spiritual exegesis about how The Stone Roses have infused divine meaning into his life. As he puts it:

I felt something so awesome, and there was some actual proof in the form of lyrics, artwork and other assorted clues.

I suggest reading the whole thing, it's a wonderful and truly classic bit of net kookery, as the guy wrote the thing mostly back on Usenet. The text contains allegations of crazed divine conspiracies being perpetrated by the Roses, secret messages and the like. It's sort of like the Da Vinci Code, I suppose, only with less blockblusteriness and more delusionariness.

Truly, though, there is only one divine Manchester story, and it is a tale of a great cataclysm.